My Child Is Signed Up for Camp. Now They’re Nervous and Want to Back Out. What Should I Do?
A few months ago, your child was excited about sleepaway camp. They looked at the pictures, talked about the activities, maybe even helped choose which camp to attend.
Now summer is approaching, and suddenly they're telling you they don't want to go.
What happened?
Probably nothing unusual.
As camp gets closer, an exciting idea becomes something real. Your child starts thinking about sleeping away from home, sharing a bunk with unfamiliar children, and spending time without you nearby.
It's entirely possible to want to go to camp and be nervous about going at the same time.
The important thing is how you respond.
Start With Confidence
When your child starts having second thoughts about camp, the most helpful thing you can do is communicate your confidence in them.
Remind your child that they wanted to go to camp, that you believe they're ready, and that you're excited about the experience they're going to have.
You might say:
"We know you can do this. You wanted to go to camp, and we're confident you're going to have a wonderful time."
Children often look to their parents to understand how worried they should be. If you respond to their nervousness with uncertainty about whether they can handle camp, you may unintentionally reinforce their doubts.
Parents naturally want to protect their children from uncomfortable feelings. When a child is anxious, it's tempting to find a way to make that anxiety disappear.
But your child doesn't need you to be worried alongside them. They need to know that you believe in them.
Being Nervous Is Normal
The next message is just as important: it's okay to be nervous.
You might say:
"Of course you're a little nervous. You're about to try something new! Lots of exciting things feel a little scary before you do them."
Being nervous doesn't mean your child isn't ready for camp. It doesn't mean something is wrong, and it certainly doesn't mean you've made a mistake by signing them up.
Think about the first day of school, learning to ride a bike, or joining a new team. Children often feel nervous before experiences they end up loving.
You don't need to talk your child out of feeling nervous. You can acknowledge those feelings without treating them as a reason not to go.
Trying New Things Is How We Grow
This is one of the most important things children can learn from going to camp.
Confidence doesn't always come before an experience. Sometimes it comes from having the experience and discovering what you're capable of.
At camp, children learn to navigate friendships, ask adults for help, try unfamiliar activities, and manage everyday routines without their parents nearby.
They won't necessarily find every moment easy. That's okay.
A child who is nervous about going to camp and goes anyway has already taken an important step toward becoming more independent.
We don't help children grow by making sure they never feel uncomfortable. We help them grow by giving them opportunities to do new things, with the support and encouragement they need to succeed.
Now, Find Out What's Worrying Them
Once you've expressed your confidence, reassured your child that nervousness is normal, and talked about why trying new things matters, it's time to ask what's bothering them.
Are they worried about missing home? Making friends? Not knowing anyone? Sleeping in a strange place? Using a shared bathroom?
Sometimes a child's big declaration—"I don't want to go!"—is really a collection of smaller worries.
And smaller worries are often easier to address.
Listen carefully. Don't dismiss their concerns, but don't turn every worry into a major obstacle, either.
A child who's worried about making friends might feel better after meeting another camper. A child who's nervous about the bunk might benefit from seeing pictures or taking another virtual tour.
You don't need to have an answer for everything. Sometimes just talking through a concern makes it feel more manageable.
Turn Nervous Energy Into Excitement
Once you've reassured your child and talked about their concerns, help them rediscover the excitement they felt when they signed up.
There are lots of little things you can do together:
- Meet another camper. Ask the camp to connect you with another family whose child will be attending. A playdate or video call can turn a stranger into a familiar face on opening day.
- Attend a pre-camp event. Many camps organize gatherings where new campers can meet one another and get to know some of the staff.
- Look at the packing list together. Picking out a flashlight, choosing bedding, or deciding what to bring can make camp feel like an adventure you're getting ready for rather than something that's happening to you.
- Take another virtual tour. Revisit the activities your child was excited about and let them imagine what their days will look like.
- Talk about the fun stuff. Swimming, cooking, sports, theater, campfires, and new friendships are much more interesting than spending another evening discussing everything that might go wrong.
None of these activities needs to become a big production.
The idea is to shift the conversation from worrying about camp to looking forward to camp.
Your child can still be nervous. That's okay. The goal isn't to make every worry disappear before opening day.
Help Them Practice Being Away
If your child hasn't spent much time sleeping away from home, now is a good time to practice.
Arrange sleepovers with grandparents, relatives, or friends. Give your child opportunities to manage some routines independently.
You can also practice asking adults for help. At camp, children need to feel comfortable telling a counselor when something is bothering them.
These small experiences can help children discover that they're capable of more than they might have thought.
Let the Camp Help
Camp directors have these conversations with families every year.
If your child is having second thoughts, let the camp know before summer begins.
The director may be able to arrange a conversation with a counselor or unit head, connect your child with another camper, or suggest ways to make the transition easier.
The camp can also help you think through whether what you're hearing sounds like ordinary pre-camp nerves or something that deserves more attention.
You and the camp are on the same team. You both want your child to have a wonderful experience.
You Believe in Them. Help Them Believe in Themselves.
One of the wonderful things about camp is watching children discover they're capable of things they weren't sure they could do.
A child can be nervous on the bus, a little homesick the first night, and happily making friends a few days later.
They may return home with new friendships, new skills, and a sense of independence they didn't have before.
And perhaps the next time they're nervous about trying something new, they'll remember that they were nervous about camp, too.
Your child doesn't have to feel brave every moment to be ready for camp.
Start by telling them you believe in them. Remind them that being nervous is okay, that trying new things is how we grow, and that a wonderful adventure is waiting for them.